Red Maple in Silver Spring

          Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially announcing the end of the Doomed Quest!  Now I need to apologize because this review is severely overdue (think: criminal negligence).  Since discovering Red Maple in Silver Spring last November, Ms. Classy and I have been patronizing this establishment as much as three times a week.  After many disappointing experiences, we have found our 'go to' Chinese place.

          We checked out their menu, which they offer Ms. Classy’s standard in which she judges all Chinese food: Crispy Shredded Beef.  I’m a General Tso’s fan, and usually opt for the chicken, but here, I have the luxury of ordering General Tso’s Shrimp!  I know this may sound like nails across a chalkboard to a Chinese food ‘purist,’ but a purist I am not.  It’s good and doesn’t kill my wallet so that’s all I need (aside from this ashtray, this remote control, and this paddle game, that’s all I need). 

If you haven’t guessed by now, the food is very good.  Depending on our hunger level, we usually select one (or both) of the following dishes: Crispy Shredded Beef, and General Tso’s Shrimp.  The General Tso’s shrimp has become our favorite.  On days where we order only one entrée, this is it.  The thick sauce is full of a mix of sweet and spicy flavor and we try our best not to let a single drop go to waste.  The breading has just the right amount of thickness and crispiness, and the shrimp is cooked to perfection.  I also enjoy the broccoli, with some of that tasty sauce drizzled over the pieces, of course.  I’ve been to many places where the steamed broccoli is a bit too steamed, but they get it just right here.  The Crispy Shredded beef is a larger portion size than the General Tso’s shrimp.  These thinly sliced, thinly coated, and fried pieces of beef are covered in a savory sweet and sour sesame sauce that, like the other entrée, we absorb as much as we can with the rice as to not let any go to waste.

          If you visit during lunch, portion sizes are more sensible, and prices are more cheapskate-friendly.  Unfortunately, their lunch menu doesn’t offer or two favorite entrées, but they do offer General Tso’s Chicken.  You also get a soup or salad to start, and I opt for the miso soup.  The sauce and breading on the chicken is just as described for the shrimp, and the chicken is well-cooked and juicy.  Red Maple also offers a full sushi bar, which we have yet to try.  We’re just so thrilled that we found a place that serves awesome General Tso’s Shrimp and Crispy Shredded Beef that we cannot make ourselves expand our horizons and try something different from the menu.

-Mr. Cheap Eats

BBQ Bus Food Truck

Not all barbecue is good barbecue.  One particular Friday, our favorite barbecue truck wasn’t at its usual spot in Takoma Park, but BBQ Bus was there to attempt to fill the void.  As a cheapskate, I was thrilled with their low prices.  One full pound of pulled pork for only $13.00 is hard to beat.  Throw in a side of baked beans and you have dinner for two that falls happily below my ‘cheap eat’ benchmark.

As we plated our hopefully tasty meal, the aroma of pulled pork and baked beans was intoxicating, but that’s where our pork-euphoria ended.  First off, the meat was excessively fatty.  I know that a pound of pulled pork slathered in barbecue sauce isn’t exactly

endorsed by Jenny Craig, but this was low quality meat and it detracted from our enjoyment of dinner (a bit dry and chewy).  The baked beans were good, but Ms. Classy and I found them underwhelming after reading all the amazing reviews.  Lots of people love the beans, we rate them as ‘ok.’

Will we go back?  No.  The price is right, but you really get what you pay for.  If we are really craving barbecue, we’d rather find the location of that other mobile barbecue joint and travel to wherever they may be spending the evening.

-Mr. Cheap Eats

Luke's Lobster in Penn Quarter

The biggest difficulty being a cheapskate is my love of the gold standards of dining: crab, shrimp, and especially lobster.  When I’m able to treat myself to such delights, these tasty treats are stuffed into buttery rolls from Luke’s Lobster

The first time I sampled one of these amazing rolls, Ms. Classy surprised me with a lobster roll after a long day’s work.  After many heart-felt expressions of love and appreciation (to her, not the roll incase anyone was wondering), I bit into the lobster roll.  I was standing, but after that bite, I had to sit down.  This bun was packed with claw meat.  They added the perfect amount of mayo, butter, and spice to enhance the flavor, not overpower it.  The only thing that could have been added to make it a more perfect eating experience was another lobster roll.

When a good friend of ours came to visit, we planned a day out and about in the city, with Luke’s as our scheduled lunch break.  Having sampled the lobster, I opted for the shrimp roll.  Eating it fresh from the kitchen with the buttery toasted roll still warm only made it that much better.  I really had to temper my eating pace for fear of biting my fingers if I didn’t exercise some self-control.  

          Some people comment on the overall cost of the rolls compared to the size, but I would mistrust the quality of anything cheaper.  Shellfish is one of those foods where you get what you pay for.  And really, a shrimp roll with chips and a soda for $10 is as good as it gets when you want it stuffed with quality shrimp and not a stale roll filled with ‘shrimp salad’ that’s mostly celery, mayo, and some fishy-tasting shrimp from a can that’s god knows how old.

-Mr. Cheap Eats

Hardy's BBQ Truck

          Since dealing with the loss of my favorite barbecue fix ever, there has been one consolation: Food Truck Friday's in Takoma Park.  Every Friday, several food trucks convene around town and Hardy's Barbecue Truck has been a recurring participant.  Ms. Classy and I needed our barbecue fix, so off I went to procure some sweet, sweet pig on a chilly Friday night.
          While waiting to order, my carnivorous hunger was stoked by the aroma of the billowing smoke wafting from the large grill containing sizzling meat.  We ordered a pint of pulled pork with a mix of sweet and spicy barbecue sauce.  My id pestered me to order just one more pint and the thought of getting drunk on pork was tempting.  However, I do like to at least keep the appearance of self-control, so I stuck to the plan: 1 pint and 2 sides.  For sides, we ordered mac and cheese and baked beans.  As expected, the pulled pork was amazing.  It was smoky, juicy, and that perfect pork texture only made better with a mixture of their sweet and spicy sauces.  As long as the mac and cheese is made with real cheese and not that alleged ‘cheese sauce’ from a tin can, it’s fine by me.  However, the side item that stood out was the baked beans.  They were brown-sugary sweet with a noticeable cinnamon flavor that sets them apart from a typical side of baked beans.

            Will we go back?  Uh, yeah!  We can't resist the pulled pork, but I will try to sneak in some brisket.  Whenever the good barbecue people decide to participate in Food Truck Friday, we’ll be eagerly waiting our turn in line.

-Mr. Cheap Eats

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Vace Italian Delicatessen in Bethesda

When looking for a dish that consistently scores the highest in my three main standards (flavor, fulfillment, frugality), it’s hard to beat a good pizza.  The problem is finding a pizza that scores high in all three categories.  Ms. Classy and I have skipped around to at least half a dozen modestly priced pizzerias around the DC metro area and haven’t been particularly impressed.  Not to say they were bad, but unremarkable.  One day, we just couldn’t fight it.  We were craving our favorite flat pie.  Instead of rehashing through places we’ve been, Ms. Classy put her impeccable research skills to work and discovered Vace Italian Delicatessen in Bethesda.

We ordered a large pizza at the base price of $9.50 (sauce and cheese only).  There’s a slightest little hiccup of a caveat: all toppings are an additional cost, but you’d have to really pile them on before your bill will be anywhere near ‘expensive.’  We ordered our favorites: pepperoni and mushroom on half, pepperoni sausage on the other, for a total of $12.00 plus tax.  Like I said before, I’m hard pressed to think of anything that can compete with a GOOD pizza in terms of my three standards.  Also take note of the business name: this place is a deli, not a restaurant.  The atmosphere is more of a small grocery/convenience store than a pizzeria (no seating area).

Was it good?  Yes, very much so.  The crispy texture of the crust was satisfying bite after crunchy bite.  Normally, I prefer my pizza to be heavy on the cheese and light on the sauce, but Vace’s pizza is the opposite.  I was skeptical when seeing the sauciness, but the aroma was enticing and I was so hungry that I would have gnawed through a brick wall to get at it.  Ms. Classy and I have eaten there twice in as many days.  This will quell our pizza cravings for the time being and we’re delighted to have a go to pizza place on speed dial that isn’t just the better side of mediocre.

-Mr. Cheap Eats

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